Victim of Circumstance Or Master of Your Fate?

Do you feel like a victim of your circumstances, or are the Master of your Fate?

Another way of asking this question is - are you REACTIVE or PROACTIVE? Do you tend to take responsibility for your life - or do you tend to blame other people, things, circumstances if things don't go right for them.

Everyone has things that go wrong in their life - it's your response to it, that will determine the effect that the event will have on your life. Helen Keller, who was born Deaf and Blind, did and said many inspirational things in her life, one of which was, "So much has been given to me, I have no time to ponder over what has been denied." She had enough wrong in her life to spend a life time bemoaning her fate - but instead she lived a very full and blessed life.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M BEING REACTIVE?

If you are being reactive you will hear yourself saying things like:

"I'll try and do this"

"That's just the way I am"

"I have to.............."

"I can't................."

"............... has ruined my life"

"I'll never get over"

You'll probably find that you are easily offended, you blame others for what's not right with your life, you complain a lot, fly off the handle and then regret it.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I"M BEING PROACTIVE?

You'll tend to say things like:

"Let's find a way to........"

"I choose to"

"I can do it."

"There has to be a way to do this."

"I'm not going to let.................. ruin my day."

You'll also tend to think before you act, take responsibility for your choices, bounce back quickly after a set back, focus on the things that you can change - not the ones that you can't.

CAN I CHANGE HOW I REACT TO THINGS?

If you have developed a habit of being reactive you can change it. It's like any habit, it may take a while to change, but if you want to you can. The first thing is to be AWARE of when you are being reactive. Take time - press the pause button - before you react. Decide which is the most empowering - is it to focus all your energy on things that are out of your control, or to focus on what you can control.

There are many things that you can't control - your environment, other people's reactions, the weather - if you focus on them, you'll feel like a victim.

If you focus on the one thing that you can change - yourself, you'll feel much more in control of your life, and more able to cope with the knocks that life throws at you.

ACTION STEP

Ask yourself - "What do I spend a lot of my time worrying about that I have no control over?"

How can I change my reaction to that, so that I feel more in control.

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